The Issue of Church Membership
One of the primary responsibilities of a pastor is to shepherd the flock of people that God has entrusted to him. This means that biblical relationships of authority and accountability take place within a covenant relationship expressed through membership in the local church. The decision to marry is one of the most important decisions a person can make, and for Christians this needs to happen within that context of the local body and pastoral oversight.
Pre‐Marriage Counseling Cost
The cost for the entire pre‐marital process is $200, which includes the cost of the 3 books and materials, and the 6‐8 sessions of pre‐marital counseling. This fee should be paid to “CityChurch” at the outset of the pre‐marital process. Keep in mind that that this fee is charged in part because of the nature, intensity, and duration of the counseling process that typically goes beyond the normal ministries and services provided for by the church. In addition, the couple will cover the cost of meals whenever a counseling session takes place during lunch.
Compared to the cost of a wedding, $200 is a small price for spiritually preparing oneself for marriage and thus should be considered a necessary part of the wedding costs. If there is a financial hardship involved, please discuss this with your pastor.
Honorarium for Performing the Ceremony
The honorarium for the minister performing your ceremony varies from couple to couple, but is usually around $150‐$300. This should be paid directly to your pastor. We have found that couples are often confused about how to honor a pastor who marries them, and this is meant to standardize the decision making process.
Out‐of‐Town Weddings
Some pastors will perform out of town weddings and others will not. You must discuss this with your pastor. Please keep in mind that if the wedding ceremony is taking place outside of Fort Lauderdale, that you need to make arrangements and financial provision for travel, lodging, and food for the pastor. This should be discussed in detail before the ceremony. Please understand that an out-of-town wedding is a significant commitment on the part of the pastor!
Church Members Who Have Moved Away
It is understood that there are a variety of personal situations that do not fit neatly into the pre‐marital process. Ultimately, it is each pastor’s prerogative to assess these situations and to make a personal decision about whether to be involved in the marriage ceremony or not. Discuss your own situation with one of the pastors. Keep in mind that your pastor may ask you to travel back to town periodically for pre‐marital sessions or pursue counseling within another context.
Confidentiality
Please keep in mind that the legal rules of confidentiality that govern therapeutic relationships in a private therapy or counseling context do not apply to the church. While we give couples assurances of “reasonable confidentiality”, these rules do not apply in cases of intent to harm self or others, elder abuse or neglect, or unrepentant sin. In these first two cases, the proper legal authorities are notified; with the third, the biblical process of discipline as outline in Matthew 18 is followed.
Duration of the Process
A “typical” pre‐marital process might be one that takes place over the course of 2‐3 months, with bi‐weekly meetings of 1‐2 hours, although this can vary. Couples are given readings, homework, and assignments to complete in between meetings.
Different Pastors For Pre‐Marital Counseling and Officiating the Ceremony
This is generally discouraged, as it can make for a confusing pre‐marital process. It is important that the pastor on staff marrying a couple be able to give good account and stewardship for the decision to officiate a ceremony for a couple.
Wedding Licenses
Each couple is responsible for securing and paying for their own marriage license. In the state of Florida, couples receive a discount on the cost of their license if they complete a pre‐marital process by an authorized agency or counselor. CityChurch qualifies as one of these agencies. You will receive a counseling certificate at the end of the pre‐marital process that you should present at the county courthouse when purchasing your license.
Wedding Venues
CityChurch does not own a church facility suitable to conduct wedding ceremonies. The responsibility for finding this space depends upon you. Be mindful that certain churches have restrictions concerning officiating ministers, so make sure to verify their policies and to make arrangements for sound/audio‐visual/custodial issues.
Wedding Rehearsal and Reception
The pastor will generally conduct the wedding rehearsal at the agreed upon rehearsal time. Regretfully, pastors are not always able to attend rehearsal dinners or receptions. It is our sincere hope that such inability is not taken as an offense.
Other Resources
As part of the pre‐marital process, the pastor might ask the couple to seek counseling help with someone else outside of the church to supplement the marriage process. Or, the pastor might recommend that the couple be assigned to an older mentor couple that can meet periodically for counsel, prayer, and accountability.
Materials and Supplies
Through the counseling process, you will read through 2‐3 books related to marriage (Sacred Marriage, by Gary Thomas; Love & Respect, by Emerson Eggerichs; Real Sex, by Lauren Winner). These books are provided to you at the outset of the pre‐marital process.
- Click here for CityChurch’s pre‐marital Process
